hilarious quotes about life

People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day. Now Joan Baez There are compensations for growing older.

160 Funny Quotes About Life To Keep You Laughing Work Quotes Funny Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life

Im sure the universe is full of intelligent life.

. I believe that if life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. A hilarious life quote that is motivational and sour at the same time. Ron White.

The room will be full of hot air. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth Anonymous 2. Trying is the first step toward failure The Simpsons 4. That always worries me Charlie Brown 3.

You can only decide how youre going to live. Erma Bombeck Honesty is the key to a relationship. Steven Wright Marriage has no guarantees. All his poems have loins in them Turgid is my torment Eric wailed.

200 Funny Quotes Hilarious Quotes to Make You Laugh 1. Sometimes having fun is part of life. Youd have a chance at least. Well at least Im not dead Tom Stoppard 5.

Short Funny Quotes About Life Life is like homemade ice cream. Enjoy it before it melts. There is no sunrise so beautiful. Woody Allen I never forget a face but in your case Ill be glad to make an exception.

You know you sit down with her she slings hash she sits there and cusses like a sailor and shes hilarious. Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Slather every protuberance with arid zeal Simon slid down in his seat. It is a great relief to reach this stage of wisdom.

Thats one of my mottosStanley Hudson The Office 3. One is the realization that to be sporting isnt at all necessary. Doing nothing is hard you never know when you are done. Its just been too intelligent to come here Arthur C.

Woody Allen In my house Im the boss. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Below weve compiled a collection of the most hilarious quotes to tickle your funny bone. You sir are the human version of period cramps 2.

Life would be tragic if it werent funny Stephen Hawking 6. Thats one of my mottos Stanley Hudson The Office 2. Come my faux juggernaut my nefarious loins. To succeed in life you need three things.

Please dont tell anyone I know him Clary giggled. I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is considered rude in most social situations Read. You could lie there thinking. Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life 1.

Best Funny Quotes 1. Who uses the word loins Eric Simon said grimly. I loved Milton Berle Dick Shawn Phyllis Diller Don Rickles Charlie Callas all those guys. People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day A.

Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. The family members you get to choose. Light travels faster than sound. Best Funny Quotes And Sayings I dont want to achieve immortality through my work.

16 Funny Quotes About Life. 23 Of The Funny Pictures Best Funny Memes 3. I was always a fan of the old-style comics. Im just going to ask where theyre going and hook up with em laterMitch.

Theres no need to turn on the heat at the family reunion. Here we share the best funny life quotes about life and sayings You dont get to choose how youre going to die. Im sick of following my dreams man. Did you just fall No.

If thats what youre looking for go live with a car battery. Life in a box is better than no life at all I expect. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka and have a party. Even if you.

My wife is just the decision-maker. I want to achieve immortality through not dying. Funny Quotes About Life Womans DayGetty Images 1. Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you dont have a single thing to worry about.

Milne I like to think of myself less like an adult and more like a former fetus Anna Kendrick I always wanted to be somebody but now I realize I should have been more specific Lily Tomlin Every day in high school. I prefer not to think before speaking. A wishbone a backbone.

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